Thursday, February 24, 2011
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
In Control?
For most of my life, food has had an amazing amount of control over me. Happy? Celebrate with food. Depressed? Soothe it with food. Stressed? You guessed it--food. I've had times, such as several serious weight loss attempts with Low Carb (a program I know works if you're tough enough to stick with it for a lifetime) when I honestly felt I was winning the battle. But ultimately, I'd slip back into slavery. . .and regain the weight I'd lost along the way.
I don't know what's making this time different, and at this point in the journey I have to face the very real possibility that I could fail. In fact, I think I have to face the very real possibility that at any point in my life--even 10 or 15 years after reaching my goal weight--I could slip back into that bondage to food. I have to approach this like a recovering alcoholic or drug addict--my disease will never be cured, just held in remission by me deciding, every day, to make the right choices.
So as I'm typing this, there is a candy bar that I bought from some kids who were selling them as a fundraiser lying right beside my computer. I bought it last Saturday (today is Wednesdsay) and have offered it to every member of my household, but so far no one has claimed it. About 30 minutes ago I picked it up and carried it here with me, held it in both hands and debated the pros and cons. I've been totally on plan for seven weeks with no slips. I'm pretty sure no matter what I do tonight I'll still reflect a loss at the meeting tomorrow night. I rationalized while looking at my old friendly enemy. . .and then laid it down. I'd rather throw it away than eat it. I gave some kids a dollar for uniforms. . .that's a small thing. But the decision to lay that candy bar back down rather than eat it is HUGE. It means I'm not a slave to food. It's my personal declaration of independence. I may not change the world with that decision, but I can change my own life and health and I can influence my children to also adopt healthier habits.
Now I think I'll go to bed. And I solomnly swear that if any chocolate crosses my lips tonight I'll come back and confess!
I don't know what's making this time different, and at this point in the journey I have to face the very real possibility that I could fail. In fact, I think I have to face the very real possibility that at any point in my life--even 10 or 15 years after reaching my goal weight--I could slip back into that bondage to food. I have to approach this like a recovering alcoholic or drug addict--my disease will never be cured, just held in remission by me deciding, every day, to make the right choices.
So as I'm typing this, there is a candy bar that I bought from some kids who were selling them as a fundraiser lying right beside my computer. I bought it last Saturday (today is Wednesdsay) and have offered it to every member of my household, but so far no one has claimed it. About 30 minutes ago I picked it up and carried it here with me, held it in both hands and debated the pros and cons. I've been totally on plan for seven weeks with no slips. I'm pretty sure no matter what I do tonight I'll still reflect a loss at the meeting tomorrow night. I rationalized while looking at my old friendly enemy. . .and then laid it down. I'd rather throw it away than eat it. I gave some kids a dollar for uniforms. . .that's a small thing. But the decision to lay that candy bar back down rather than eat it is HUGE. It means I'm not a slave to food. It's my personal declaration of independence. I may not change the world with that decision, but I can change my own life and health and I can influence my children to also adopt healthier habits.
Now I think I'll go to bed. And I solomnly swear that if any chocolate crosses my lips tonight I'll come back and confess!
Friday, February 18, 2011
Seeing changes
At the end of six weeks on Weight Watchers points plus plan (talk about alliteration) I have lost 17.6 pounds. Only 117.4 remaining. That's a bit depressing--so I'll choose to focus on the positives.
I've been able to wear clothes this week that have been hanging in my closet for nearly a year, having grown too small as I grew too large. It's felt good. I wore clothes to last night's WW meeting that I'd been wearing and one of my new WW friends told me to get rid of them--that they are way too baggy now. While I'm not sure about that, there is a definite difference.
I'm very comfortable with the plan now and no longer think I'm "doing it wrong". I'm also gaining confidence that the step-down in allowed points+ is going to keep me losing all the way to goal and help me learn to maintain. I started with a daily allowance of 40 points+ and with what I've lost now am currently at 36. The lowest it will drop is 29.
I also love it that I have the weekly flex points+ that I can use all at once if I have a special occasion or spread out for a little extra each day. And although I haven't really started exercising yet, I love it that when I'm ready to add that that I can earn extra activity points+, exchanging activity for extra fuel if I need it.
Meetings? I'm enjoying them more than I thought I would. There is something somewhat energizing about physically sitting down in a room with a group of people who have a common goal. I love the online tools and am utilizing the online community (bulletin board) some too, although I have a group of online friends whose support is more meaningful.
I'm finding I want to take care of other things I've neglected at the same time I've been letting my weight go (and grow). For instance, I have a hair appointment tomorrow morning--first time I've been in to have anything done with my hair since right before school started last August. It just hasn't been important to me, I think largely because I wasn't happy with how I looked or felt and just didn't care.
All-in-all, life is looking up as the number on my scale moves down. Thank you WW!
I've been able to wear clothes this week that have been hanging in my closet for nearly a year, having grown too small as I grew too large. It's felt good. I wore clothes to last night's WW meeting that I'd been wearing and one of my new WW friends told me to get rid of them--that they are way too baggy now. While I'm not sure about that, there is a definite difference.
I'm very comfortable with the plan now and no longer think I'm "doing it wrong". I'm also gaining confidence that the step-down in allowed points+ is going to keep me losing all the way to goal and help me learn to maintain. I started with a daily allowance of 40 points+ and with what I've lost now am currently at 36. The lowest it will drop is 29.
I also love it that I have the weekly flex points+ that I can use all at once if I have a special occasion or spread out for a little extra each day. And although I haven't really started exercising yet, I love it that when I'm ready to add that that I can earn extra activity points+, exchanging activity for extra fuel if I need it.
Meetings? I'm enjoying them more than I thought I would. There is something somewhat energizing about physically sitting down in a room with a group of people who have a common goal. I love the online tools and am utilizing the online community (bulletin board) some too, although I have a group of online friends whose support is more meaningful.
I'm finding I want to take care of other things I've neglected at the same time I've been letting my weight go (and grow). For instance, I have a hair appointment tomorrow morning--first time I've been in to have anything done with my hair since right before school started last August. It just hasn't been important to me, I think largely because I wasn't happy with how I looked or felt and just didn't care.
All-in-all, life is looking up as the number on my scale moves down. Thank you WW!
Sunday, February 6, 2011
It keeps falling. . .
Record snow fall and record cold temps in Oklahoma! Yesterday (Saturday) I ventured out for the first time since last Monday and the roads were still very ice packed. More snow is supposed to arrive today (just a small amount) and another huge storm system is supposed to arrive Tuesday/Wednesday. I'm a warm weather bird and am wishing I'd flown south for the winter.
However, even as the snow continues to fall, and the temps continue to fall, so does the number on my scale. So even though the sky is gray, my mood is not.
However, even as the snow continues to fall, and the temps continue to fall, so does the number on my scale. So even though the sky is gray, my mood is not.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
The Little Things
Wow life has been busy. But as of last Thursday, I'm officially 9 pounds lighter, and I'm looking forward to this week's weigh-in. Looking forward to a weigh-in? Did I just say that?
Besides the drop in the scale, I had a couple of other affirmations this week that things are moving the right direction. I put on a pair of drawstring pants last weekend that I haven't been able to tie in awhile--the drawstring wasn't long enough to tie. Suddenly, I had a couple inches on each side--enough to tie in a small bow. Now maybe not everyone gets excited about tying a bow in a drawstring, but I did.
And, like most of the rest of the country, we are in the middle of a major winter storm right now. I got my heavy coat out of the closet, dreading putting it on because the last time I wore it the sleeves felt tight and I couldn't button it. Well--the sleeves are fine and I can button most of the buttons, only the very bottom "hip" buttons still don't quite meet.
I just used 4 of my PointsPlus on a cup of really good hot cocoa. That's the best thing about Weight Watchers. These are MY PointsPlus to use as I see fit. I find it very generous and I am not hungry. I keep thinking I must be doing something wrong because I'm eating things that are NOT diet food--but I'm still losing weight. I'm sure there will be bumps in the road ahead, but right now I'm just going to keep enjoying the ride.
Besides the drop in the scale, I had a couple of other affirmations this week that things are moving the right direction. I put on a pair of drawstring pants last weekend that I haven't been able to tie in awhile--the drawstring wasn't long enough to tie. Suddenly, I had a couple inches on each side--enough to tie in a small bow. Now maybe not everyone gets excited about tying a bow in a drawstring, but I did.
And, like most of the rest of the country, we are in the middle of a major winter storm right now. I got my heavy coat out of the closet, dreading putting it on because the last time I wore it the sleeves felt tight and I couldn't button it. Well--the sleeves are fine and I can button most of the buttons, only the very bottom "hip" buttons still don't quite meet.
I just used 4 of my PointsPlus on a cup of really good hot cocoa. That's the best thing about Weight Watchers. These are MY PointsPlus to use as I see fit. I find it very generous and I am not hungry. I keep thinking I must be doing something wrong because I'm eating things that are NOT diet food--but I'm still losing weight. I'm sure there will be bumps in the road ahead, but right now I'm just going to keep enjoying the ride.
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