Thursday, February 24, 2011
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
In Control?
For most of my life, food has had an amazing amount of control over me. Happy? Celebrate with food. Depressed? Soothe it with food. Stressed? You guessed it--food. I've had times, such as several serious weight loss attempts with Low Carb (a program I know works if you're tough enough to stick with it for a lifetime) when I honestly felt I was winning the battle. But ultimately, I'd slip back into slavery. . .and regain the weight I'd lost along the way.
I don't know what's making this time different, and at this point in the journey I have to face the very real possibility that I could fail. In fact, I think I have to face the very real possibility that at any point in my life--even 10 or 15 years after reaching my goal weight--I could slip back into that bondage to food. I have to approach this like a recovering alcoholic or drug addict--my disease will never be cured, just held in remission by me deciding, every day, to make the right choices.
So as I'm typing this, there is a candy bar that I bought from some kids who were selling them as a fundraiser lying right beside my computer. I bought it last Saturday (today is Wednesdsay) and have offered it to every member of my household, but so far no one has claimed it. About 30 minutes ago I picked it up and carried it here with me, held it in both hands and debated the pros and cons. I've been totally on plan for seven weeks with no slips. I'm pretty sure no matter what I do tonight I'll still reflect a loss at the meeting tomorrow night. I rationalized while looking at my old friendly enemy. . .and then laid it down. I'd rather throw it away than eat it. I gave some kids a dollar for uniforms. . .that's a small thing. But the decision to lay that candy bar back down rather than eat it is HUGE. It means I'm not a slave to food. It's my personal declaration of independence. I may not change the world with that decision, but I can change my own life and health and I can influence my children to also adopt healthier habits.
Now I think I'll go to bed. And I solomnly swear that if any chocolate crosses my lips tonight I'll come back and confess!
I don't know what's making this time different, and at this point in the journey I have to face the very real possibility that I could fail. In fact, I think I have to face the very real possibility that at any point in my life--even 10 or 15 years after reaching my goal weight--I could slip back into that bondage to food. I have to approach this like a recovering alcoholic or drug addict--my disease will never be cured, just held in remission by me deciding, every day, to make the right choices.
So as I'm typing this, there is a candy bar that I bought from some kids who were selling them as a fundraiser lying right beside my computer. I bought it last Saturday (today is Wednesdsay) and have offered it to every member of my household, but so far no one has claimed it. About 30 minutes ago I picked it up and carried it here with me, held it in both hands and debated the pros and cons. I've been totally on plan for seven weeks with no slips. I'm pretty sure no matter what I do tonight I'll still reflect a loss at the meeting tomorrow night. I rationalized while looking at my old friendly enemy. . .and then laid it down. I'd rather throw it away than eat it. I gave some kids a dollar for uniforms. . .that's a small thing. But the decision to lay that candy bar back down rather than eat it is HUGE. It means I'm not a slave to food. It's my personal declaration of independence. I may not change the world with that decision, but I can change my own life and health and I can influence my children to also adopt healthier habits.
Now I think I'll go to bed. And I solomnly swear that if any chocolate crosses my lips tonight I'll come back and confess!
Friday, February 18, 2011
Seeing changes
At the end of six weeks on Weight Watchers points plus plan (talk about alliteration) I have lost 17.6 pounds. Only 117.4 remaining. That's a bit depressing--so I'll choose to focus on the positives.
I've been able to wear clothes this week that have been hanging in my closet for nearly a year, having grown too small as I grew too large. It's felt good. I wore clothes to last night's WW meeting that I'd been wearing and one of my new WW friends told me to get rid of them--that they are way too baggy now. While I'm not sure about that, there is a definite difference.
I'm very comfortable with the plan now and no longer think I'm "doing it wrong". I'm also gaining confidence that the step-down in allowed points+ is going to keep me losing all the way to goal and help me learn to maintain. I started with a daily allowance of 40 points+ and with what I've lost now am currently at 36. The lowest it will drop is 29.
I also love it that I have the weekly flex points+ that I can use all at once if I have a special occasion or spread out for a little extra each day. And although I haven't really started exercising yet, I love it that when I'm ready to add that that I can earn extra activity points+, exchanging activity for extra fuel if I need it.
Meetings? I'm enjoying them more than I thought I would. There is something somewhat energizing about physically sitting down in a room with a group of people who have a common goal. I love the online tools and am utilizing the online community (bulletin board) some too, although I have a group of online friends whose support is more meaningful.
I'm finding I want to take care of other things I've neglected at the same time I've been letting my weight go (and grow). For instance, I have a hair appointment tomorrow morning--first time I've been in to have anything done with my hair since right before school started last August. It just hasn't been important to me, I think largely because I wasn't happy with how I looked or felt and just didn't care.
All-in-all, life is looking up as the number on my scale moves down. Thank you WW!
I've been able to wear clothes this week that have been hanging in my closet for nearly a year, having grown too small as I grew too large. It's felt good. I wore clothes to last night's WW meeting that I'd been wearing and one of my new WW friends told me to get rid of them--that they are way too baggy now. While I'm not sure about that, there is a definite difference.
I'm very comfortable with the plan now and no longer think I'm "doing it wrong". I'm also gaining confidence that the step-down in allowed points+ is going to keep me losing all the way to goal and help me learn to maintain. I started with a daily allowance of 40 points+ and with what I've lost now am currently at 36. The lowest it will drop is 29.
I also love it that I have the weekly flex points+ that I can use all at once if I have a special occasion or spread out for a little extra each day. And although I haven't really started exercising yet, I love it that when I'm ready to add that that I can earn extra activity points+, exchanging activity for extra fuel if I need it.
Meetings? I'm enjoying them more than I thought I would. There is something somewhat energizing about physically sitting down in a room with a group of people who have a common goal. I love the online tools and am utilizing the online community (bulletin board) some too, although I have a group of online friends whose support is more meaningful.
I'm finding I want to take care of other things I've neglected at the same time I've been letting my weight go (and grow). For instance, I have a hair appointment tomorrow morning--first time I've been in to have anything done with my hair since right before school started last August. It just hasn't been important to me, I think largely because I wasn't happy with how I looked or felt and just didn't care.
All-in-all, life is looking up as the number on my scale moves down. Thank you WW!
Sunday, February 6, 2011
It keeps falling. . .
Record snow fall and record cold temps in Oklahoma! Yesterday (Saturday) I ventured out for the first time since last Monday and the roads were still very ice packed. More snow is supposed to arrive today (just a small amount) and another huge storm system is supposed to arrive Tuesday/Wednesday. I'm a warm weather bird and am wishing I'd flown south for the winter.
However, even as the snow continues to fall, and the temps continue to fall, so does the number on my scale. So even though the sky is gray, my mood is not.
However, even as the snow continues to fall, and the temps continue to fall, so does the number on my scale. So even though the sky is gray, my mood is not.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
The Little Things
Wow life has been busy. But as of last Thursday, I'm officially 9 pounds lighter, and I'm looking forward to this week's weigh-in. Looking forward to a weigh-in? Did I just say that?
Besides the drop in the scale, I had a couple of other affirmations this week that things are moving the right direction. I put on a pair of drawstring pants last weekend that I haven't been able to tie in awhile--the drawstring wasn't long enough to tie. Suddenly, I had a couple inches on each side--enough to tie in a small bow. Now maybe not everyone gets excited about tying a bow in a drawstring, but I did.
And, like most of the rest of the country, we are in the middle of a major winter storm right now. I got my heavy coat out of the closet, dreading putting it on because the last time I wore it the sleeves felt tight and I couldn't button it. Well--the sleeves are fine and I can button most of the buttons, only the very bottom "hip" buttons still don't quite meet.
I just used 4 of my PointsPlus on a cup of really good hot cocoa. That's the best thing about Weight Watchers. These are MY PointsPlus to use as I see fit. I find it very generous and I am not hungry. I keep thinking I must be doing something wrong because I'm eating things that are NOT diet food--but I'm still losing weight. I'm sure there will be bumps in the road ahead, but right now I'm just going to keep enjoying the ride.
Besides the drop in the scale, I had a couple of other affirmations this week that things are moving the right direction. I put on a pair of drawstring pants last weekend that I haven't been able to tie in awhile--the drawstring wasn't long enough to tie. Suddenly, I had a couple inches on each side--enough to tie in a small bow. Now maybe not everyone gets excited about tying a bow in a drawstring, but I did.
And, like most of the rest of the country, we are in the middle of a major winter storm right now. I got my heavy coat out of the closet, dreading putting it on because the last time I wore it the sleeves felt tight and I couldn't button it. Well--the sleeves are fine and I can button most of the buttons, only the very bottom "hip" buttons still don't quite meet.
I just used 4 of my PointsPlus on a cup of really good hot cocoa. That's the best thing about Weight Watchers. These are MY PointsPlus to use as I see fit. I find it very generous and I am not hungry. I keep thinking I must be doing something wrong because I'm eating things that are NOT diet food--but I'm still losing weight. I'm sure there will be bumps in the road ahead, but right now I'm just going to keep enjoying the ride.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Tracking is NOT a dirty word
I'm a public school teacher, and in past years I hated snow days. But over the past few years my district has started tracking time in school by minutes rather than days, and by "banking" extra minutes we have not had to make up snow days. Guess what today is? A SNOW DAY! A free day to be home, relax and not have to worry about making up later. Thankfully, someone is tracking the time in such a way that it makes my job and life easier.
For years, I had an ongoing joke with my students that "snow" was a profane word and if they used it in my classroom they would face disciplinary action. I told them that all I had to write on the discipline slip is that they used a profane word that began with "S" and that no other explanation would be required from me. This new tracking system has made that threat unnecessary, although I think the students may miss the fun we had with this.
Tracking also may sound like something profane to you like it did to me for a long time. But the Weight Watchers' PointsPlus tracking is very easy. I use the online tools, but there is also a purse/pocket calculator that is very easy to use, as well as booklets with many foods pre-calculated. The system looks at 4 things from a standard food label: 1) total fat, 2) total carbohydrates, 3) fiber and 4) protein. The 4 nutrients combined result in a single score, and WW also calculates how many PointsPlus each individual is allowed daily based on age, current weight and gender.
WW also builds in a weekly allowance that can be divided and used a little each day or saved and used all at once. This allows for the flexibility of a birthday party (I went to one last weekend, ate what was on the menu including a small piece of cake and stayed within my PointsPlus allowance!). All in all, the tracking system is easy to use, keeps me on target, lets me see visual proof that I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing--it's GREAT.
By the way, I attended my first meeting two weeks ago today, and as of today I've lost 4.4 lbs. I'm happy with that.
For years, I had an ongoing joke with my students that "snow" was a profane word and if they used it in my classroom they would face disciplinary action. I told them that all I had to write on the discipline slip is that they used a profane word that began with "S" and that no other explanation would be required from me. This new tracking system has made that threat unnecessary, although I think the students may miss the fun we had with this.
Tracking also may sound like something profane to you like it did to me for a long time. But the Weight Watchers' PointsPlus tracking is very easy. I use the online tools, but there is also a purse/pocket calculator that is very easy to use, as well as booklets with many foods pre-calculated. The system looks at 4 things from a standard food label: 1) total fat, 2) total carbohydrates, 3) fiber and 4) protein. The 4 nutrients combined result in a single score, and WW also calculates how many PointsPlus each individual is allowed daily based on age, current weight and gender.
WW also builds in a weekly allowance that can be divided and used a little each day or saved and used all at once. This allows for the flexibility of a birthday party (I went to one last weekend, ate what was on the menu including a small piece of cake and stayed within my PointsPlus allowance!). All in all, the tracking system is easy to use, keeps me on target, lets me see visual proof that I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing--it's GREAT.
By the way, I attended my first meeting two weeks ago today, and as of today I've lost 4.4 lbs. I'm happy with that.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
In the Beginning
Once upon a time there was a girl who grew up believing she could do anything she set her mind to. She was blessed with supportive parents, a good education, talents and abilities. As she grew to adulthood she met and married a man who would prove to be her best friend and greatest support over the next thirty-ahem years. She added amazing children (4 girls), a challenging career, a host of friends. . .but she also added a lot of pounds!
Granted with all the good things in her life there was also a lot of stress, but the one seemingly perpetual failure in her life was failure to control her weight. She gave herself the title "Weight Loss Queen" because on every new diet and program, she could lose a lot of weight--but in the long run she couldn't keep it off. The funny thing about pounds is that when they leave a body and then return, they tend to bring friends with them each time.
Medically supervised, Low Fat, Weight-Down Workshops, Low Carb. Each of these programs has some components she loved! She lost weight on each one--particularly Low Carb. But somehow the lifelong changes never took hold and the weight returned, with more along for the ride.
I suppose it's obvious that this woman is me. My name is Pam, the Weight Loss Queen. I recently made a choice between joining Weight Watchers--one of the few programs I've never tried, or bariatric surgery. I like the idea that Weight Watchers isn't a diet, it's retraining myself how to eat. I love the idea of life-long support once I reach goal (FREE lifelong support). I like the accountability of attending meetings weekly, and the online tools I can use each day to be on track. I like the balance in the types of foods I can eat--that it's real food I can also feed my family and not pre-packaged "artifical environment" meals. And so I joined Weight Watchers a week and a half ago.
So here I go. I'm on a mission to undo as much of the damage I've done to my health over the years as I possibly can. By the time my 7 month old grandson is old enough to remember, I want to be healthy enough to play outside with him (and any additional grandchildren who come along). I'm determined to win, and I'm going to document the good, bad and ugly so that I always remember the steps I'm taking and why. Who knows? Maybe one day this blog will be a help to someone else starting the same journey.
Today is January 16, 2010 and I have approximately 135 lbs to lose--that's a whole person!
Granted with all the good things in her life there was also a lot of stress, but the one seemingly perpetual failure in her life was failure to control her weight. She gave herself the title "Weight Loss Queen" because on every new diet and program, she could lose a lot of weight--but in the long run she couldn't keep it off. The funny thing about pounds is that when they leave a body and then return, they tend to bring friends with them each time.
Medically supervised, Low Fat, Weight-Down Workshops, Low Carb. Each of these programs has some components she loved! She lost weight on each one--particularly Low Carb. But somehow the lifelong changes never took hold and the weight returned, with more along for the ride.
I suppose it's obvious that this woman is me. My name is Pam, the Weight Loss Queen. I recently made a choice between joining Weight Watchers--one of the few programs I've never tried, or bariatric surgery. I like the idea that Weight Watchers isn't a diet, it's retraining myself how to eat. I love the idea of life-long support once I reach goal (FREE lifelong support). I like the accountability of attending meetings weekly, and the online tools I can use each day to be on track. I like the balance in the types of foods I can eat--that it's real food I can also feed my family and not pre-packaged "artifical environment" meals. And so I joined Weight Watchers a week and a half ago.
So here I go. I'm on a mission to undo as much of the damage I've done to my health over the years as I possibly can. By the time my 7 month old grandson is old enough to remember, I want to be healthy enough to play outside with him (and any additional grandchildren who come along). I'm determined to win, and I'm going to document the good, bad and ugly so that I always remember the steps I'm taking and why. Who knows? Maybe one day this blog will be a help to someone else starting the same journey.
Today is January 16, 2010 and I have approximately 135 lbs to lose--that's a whole person!
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